He-man Woman Haters Club
by HeartDeNijs
Summary: With Punk being harassed by AJ and John going through a nasty divorce, John comes up with the idea of starting the WWE chapter of the He-man Woman Haters Club. They have an interesting first meeting. Rated M


**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing when it comes to the WWE. If I did, Punk would have photo shoot with his new pink gear. I need a poster of him that doesn't clash with my pink and purple dorm room.**

***HeartDeNijs***

Punk didn't understand how he got himself into situations like these. Well, he partly understood how he fell down this rabbit hole, but they were just a few simple words and he had been joking for Christ's sake. This girl couldn't get a joke if it slammed her in the head with a frying pan.

All he had said was, "I dig crazy chicks," and then she set after him like a bitch in heat. He'd been sneaking around for days and hiding in his bus with the door firmly locked. It had only been a matter of time before she cornered him, but he wasn't expecting to be so vulnerable when his time was up.

Punk was pulled from his thoughts when he heard her annoying voice calling out to him. "Where are you, my little Punkie pooh?" Punk shuddered and threw up in his mouth a little before carefully tip toeing down the deserted hallway in the arena. He sighed in relief when he noticed a door. He opened it and saw that it was a broom closet that he could hide in.

Punk looked left and right before entering to make sure that AJ wasn't coming around the corner. As quietly as he could, Punk closed the door. Feeling relief slide down his spine, Punk sighed and leaned his back against the door.

Thinking back to earlier this evening, Punk shook his head in disgust. He had had an exhilarating match tonight and had gone back to his dressing room to shower and change before heading back to his bus for the night. On his way there, however; Punk noticed AJ being interviewed. He thought that he had slipped into his dressing room without being noticed, but a few minutes into his shower, he had been proven very wrong.

He had just washed the sweat off his body and was working on washing his hair when slender arms had wrapped themselves around his torso. The hands that were attached to those arms had descended and placed themselves between his legs.

Like any guy with his manhood in jeopardy, Punk had frozen with his hands still buried in his hair. He had honestly been too shocked and yes, a little scared, to react at all.

Punk had heard a feminine growl from behind him before breasts were pressed against his back. "Oh, you're a big boy, aren't you Punkie? How do you hide this in those itty bitty little trunks of yours?"

Recovering from his shock, Punk grabbed her hands and removed them from his person before putting as much distance between himself and AJ as he could. The showers at this arena were open, so there were multiple shower heads in the room. He backed away until his back hit the tiled wall and then he turned on the shower head that was closest to him. He didn't want to run the risk of getting shampoo in his eyes in this situation.

Finally finding his voice, Punk confronted AJ. "I don't know why you're in here, but you can't be, so run along now." He took one hand away from quickly washing the soap out of his hair to shoo her, but she didn't notice. Her eyes were glued someplace further south.

Removing his other hand from his hair, Punk used both to cover himself self-consciously. AJ's eyes rose to meet his and he saw how dilated her pupils were. Crap, he was in a lot of trouble.

Carefully edging himself toward the doorway that led to the locker room, Punk never let his eyes leave AJ. He knew that if he looked away for even one second, she would pounce.

When he reached the doorway, he made a break for it. Quickly putting on the pair of shorts he had worn earlier over his ring gear, Punk gathered his stuff and ran toward the locker room door. Just as the locker room door closed behind him, he heard AJ say, "Oh! How did you know I like to play chase me?"

Punk had rolled his eyes and rushed toward the exit that led to where all the buses were parked. Just before he reached the door, AJ had appeared in front of it, chest heaving. "I found you!" She had said gleefully, but Punk turned on a dime and headed down another hallway. And that's how he ended up in this stupid broom closet. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Punk tiredly sat down on an overturned five gallon bucket and rested his chin on one of his fists. He just had to wait her out and then he could get on his bus. Punk shivered as he felt beads of water slide down his back. He hadn't gotten to dry off, which sucked royally! He should have grabbed a towel while making his escape.

His heart leapt in his throat when the door of the closet suddenly slammed open revealing a manic looking AJ. She grinned madly at him before pouncing. Survival instincts kicking in, Punk lunged past AJ, who was in mid pounce, for the door.

He could taste freedom on his tongue as he entered the hallway and made a break for the exit. Punk looked back and saw AJ prancing after him like a love-struck mountain goat. Frustrated, Punk turned down another hallway and barged into the first room he saw. Unfortunately, he didn't notice that John Cena's name was on the door.

Panting, Punk placed his ear against the door and listened for AJ. He could hear her getting closer and closer. He prayed that she wouldn't check this room. He heard her go past the door and he sighed in relief. In the distance, he heard her say, "My darling little Punkie boo, where are you?"

A sudden laugh made Punk jump about a mile in the air. Turning around, Punk saw John Cena standing in front on him in nothing but a towel and a smile on his face. Punk was momentarily mesmerized by a droplet of water that rolled down John's rippling abs and into the towel.

"You know, Punk, Penelope is supposed to say le pant when she's running away from Pepe. Hmm, never pegged you as the role-play type." John smiled teasingly at Punk.

Punk's feathers were thoroughly ruffled by that comment. "I am NOT role-playing, I'll have you know! I'm being stalked like a wounded water buffalo." Punk said indignantly, his chest heaving.

John laughed again before throwing Punk a towel from his bag. "I was just kidding. You're fun when you're all wound up.

Punk caught the towel in midair and then proceeded to dry his hair and face off before moving on to his chest. He didn't notice John's eyes follow the towel because he was too frazzled. "Man, I hate women. You say one casual statement, and it's like you proposed marriage to them. I swear that if she had a key to my bus, she would come and rape me in my sleep!" Punk looked at John with wild eyes. He took a seat on one of the benches to catch his breath.

John snorted and nodded his head. "I know how you feel, man. The only woman I don't hate is my mother and at least AJ isn't trying to kill you while you are sleeping."

Looking up from rummaging through his bag, Punk looked at John with a raised eyebrow. "So is that why you and the Missus are splitting? That's a good reason, if you ask me." Punk smirked at his last comment.

John sat down on the bench that was directly across from Punk. He was still in his towel, but he didn't think Punk would mind. He had saved him from AJ after all. "That was the last straw. The main problem is a remodel we were doing on a home. She went crazy buying stuff while I was away and got herself into a bit of a problem. I said I wouldn't pay for it, and that she would just have to come up with the money some other way. She made me sleep on the couch that night and I woke up at 3am with a kitchen knife at my throat. I filed for divorce the next day."

Punk had to pick his jaw off the ground. "Holy shit! I thought your wife was a crazy bitch, but damn! I didn't expect that. AJ has nothing on her. I think I'll admit defeat for this one." Punk laughed nervously.

Scoffing, John stood up and unwrapped his towel before searching through his locker for a pair of athletic shorts. He looked out of the corner of his eye to see Punk's reaction. He was playing it off like it didn't faze him, but John could see the slight blush on Punk's cheeks and noticed how his eyes kept sneaking glances at his naked lower half. 'This is promising,' John thought to himself. No one on the roster knew, but John Cena was bisexual.

John first met Punk a few days before WrestleMania in 2006 and he had been _slightly_ obsessed with him since. He looked so damn good in those wrestling tiny trunks of his, John was always tempted to rip them off and have his way with him whenever he had a match with Punk.

He had assumed that Punk was straight as an arrow because he never hinted or acted like he was into men at all, but when John walked in on Punk and Luke Gallows making out in the locker room during the straight edge society days, he knew he had assumed wrong. John had been upset with himself because he couldn't act on this info when he was married to Elizabeth. Now, though, nothing was holding him back.

Punk didn't know that John knew his secret because he had no idea that he and Luke had been watched that night. To distract himself from John's naked form, he pawed through his bag to find a shirt. He was feeling so exposed around John without a shirt on and he couldn't explain why.

"You know," John said while slipping a pair of athletic shorts over his hips, "We should start a WWE chapter of the He-Man Woman Haters Club. I'll be president and you can be treasurer. That'll make it an official.

Punk looked over at John incredulously before slipping his gray shirt over his head. "What the hell are you talking about?"

John smiled at Punk with his dimples popping. "Oh, come on. You, the movie fanatic, have never seen the Little Rascals?"

Punk had to think for a minute before it dawned on him. "Oh, yea! I remember that movie. It's been forever since I've watched it!"

There was his opportunity. John smirked to himself. "You should ride with me to the next venue tonight so we can watch the movie. I think we'll both be able to relate to it considering the circumstances. We'll need to get movie night provisions, though. I don't have much on my bus except protein shakes and bars." John laughed and rubbed the back of his neck.

John watched as Punk chewed on his lip ring in a delicious manner while he was thinking about it. "Okay, that sounds fun, but I have to warn you. I don't sleep, so I'll be up all night."

John smirked. "That won't bother me. Let me finish getting dressed and then we'll head out to get some food." Punk was so innocent, John almost laughed out load. Oh, Punk would be up all night if John had any say in the matter.

Both men finished drying off and getting clothes on before braving the hallway. John looked out the door first, to see if AJ was around and then Punk followed close behind him, so close in fact, he tripped on John's feet a few times.

Fortunately for Punk, they did not run into AJ and were able to board John's bus without any problem. He plopped down on one of the built in benches in front of the table and sighed in relief. He was safe on John's bus. Punk's ear perked up when he heard John give instructions to his bus driver.

"Before we get on the interstate, I want to make a stop at Wal-Mart to pick up some stuff and then we can head out." Punk turned in his seat and jerked his head so he could look back at John.

"Dude! Are you insane? You can't go into Wal-Mart without causing a huge scene that would turn into a riot. Let's go somewhere else for food." Punk leveled a look at John like he was stupid.

"It's 1am. Wal-Mart is completely dead except for a few crazy people and they'll be too occupied talking to themselves to notice you or me." John assured Punk.

"People never notice me because I'm good at being incognito. You, on the other hand, probably don't even know the definition. If we stop at Wal-Mart, I'll go in and buy the stuff and you can stay on the bus."

John thought for a moment. "That might work if you're willing to buy beer for me. If not, I'm going in."

Punk looked scandalized. "Hell no, I'm not buying you beer. You can drink the Pepsi I'm going to buy."

John smirked at Punk. "Then I'm going in to buy some beer."

Punk crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "Fine, but don't expect me to walk with you. I don't want to get stuck in a crush of fans."

John sat down on the built in couch across from where Punk was sitting. He threw one of his muscular arms across the back of it, getting comfortable for the ride to Wal-Mart. "Think what you want, Punk, but Wal-Mart at 1am is a very different place compared to during the day. It'll be fine. We'll be in and out within 20 minutes."

Punk was still skeptical, but was too tired from the ordeal he had gone through tonight to argue further with John. When John was proven wrong, he would have the pleasure of telling him 'I told you so'.

The ride to Wal-Mart was short and silent. Punk took that time to post a few things on twitter and John checked a few baseball scores. John's bus driver pulled into the parking lot and parked toward the end of it.

John stood up and stretched when the bus stopped. "Okay, I'm going in to buy beer and munchies and you are going to buy whatever you want to buy. I'll see you when I get back." And with that John got off the bus and started walking toward the store. Punk rolled his eyes and started after him.

When both men entered the store, it looked completely dead. The one cashier at the front turned around and looked at them with disinterest before going back to filing her nails. John turned back toward Punk and smiled at him playfully. "Welcome to Wal-Mart. Get your shit and get out." Punk snorted at John's silliness and then headed toward the beverage aisle. John followed after him, because the selection of beer was also in that aisle.

John glanced at Punk's derrière a few times while they were walking through the store toward the aisle they were looking for. Punk was wearing a loose pair of shorts, which didn't show off his pert ass, which was a damn shame in John's opinion.

When both men reached the beverage aisle, Punk quickly grabbed a 12 pack of diet Pepsi and then left to find snacks. John, however, didn't know what beer he wanted to buy, so it took him longer to decide. After a few minutes, he decided on Yuengling light beer. He had heard that the brand had gone national a few years ago, but he had only ever had it in Pennsylvania. Grabbing a six-pack, John headed toward the snack food aisle and picked up a box of buttered popcorn before heading to the check-out.

Surprisingly, Punk was handing money to the gum popping cashier when John placed his items on the counter. "I thought I had beaten you for sure."

Punk turned and smirked at John. "I knew what I was after when I came in. I got my shit and I'm getting out. Not my fault you can't follow your own advice." He grabbed his bags and headed toward the door.

John smiled and shook his head. "Touché." He watched as the cashier rang him up. She didn't even acknowledge his presence so he could see why she was on the night shift. After collecting his purchases, John headed back to his bus.

John found Punk sitting on his couch messing with his phone again when he returned, so he dropped his six-pack on the table a little hard to get his attention. Punk looked up at him, "Hey, what took you so long?" He smiled teasingly at John.

John shrugged. "I couldn't decide what beer I wanted to buy, not that you would understand the dilemma." He smiled crookedly at Punk with one of his dimples popping.

Smiling and shaking his head at John, Punk looked back down at his phone. There really wasn't anything interesting on his phone; he just felt a somewhat uncomfortable being around John without anyone else from the roster with them.

He had considered John his friends since they reached an understanding between them this summer. Punk had learned what John thought and went through and John had learned the same things about Punk. Even though they had been friends for that long, they had never hung out on their own and Punk was feeling a little awkward.

Sensing Punk's discomfort, John scrambled to find something to say to lighten up the night. It finally clicked a few minutes and awkward shuffles later. "So, do you have any tattoo parlors that you would suggest going to? I've been thinking about getting some work done."

Jerking his head up, Punk couldn't believe what he had just heard. "You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm seriously considering it." John couldn't stop a playful smirk from crossing his face.

Completely having forgotten about the awkwardness that he had been feeling before, Punk launched into the conversation. "I usually go to a shop called Monkey Bones and they are amazing. One of the artists there, Robin, actually did my chest tattoo. Why the hell is John Cena thinking about getting a tattoo?"

John realized at this point that he should have thought this out before diving into this conversation. He really had been considering getting a tattoo, but only because he was fascinated with Punk's own tattoos. John decided on giving Punk a copout answer. "I don't know. I just wanted one all of a sudden. I want to get hustle, loyalty and respect put somewhere. Those words mean a lot to me.

Punk seemed to have accepted that answer and let John off the hook. "Well, if you want text done, I would recommend J because he's really good at that kind of stuff."

John nodded his head, filing that information away in his mind. He had other priorities at the moment. "How about we watch this movie in the back? The TV is bigger back there." John held his breath, hoping Punk wasn't catching on just yet.

Still discombobulated that John freaking Cena wanted to get a tattoo, Punk agreed and didn't get the significance of the action.

John smiled to himself and led Punk to the back of his bus, which was his bedroom. "I'm going to go pop some popcorn and then I'll be back. Will you put in the movie? It's in the left cabinet next to the TV." With that John back out of the room and the curtain fell back into place behind him.

"Yea, sure." Punk called after him. Before looking for the movie in the cabinet, he looked around the room. The room looked almost identical to the bedroom on his bus, but the cabinets were a different color and the bedding on the California king bed was blood red. 'Figures,' Punk thought to himself. He opened the cabinet, easily found the DVD and then placed it in the player before sitting down Indian style at the end of John's bed.

The DVD menu had just come up when John walked back in, so he pressed play on the player. "You want some," John said offering Punk some popcorn as he sat back against the pillow.

"Naw, I'm good." Punk said gesturing to the green apple in his hand. He grabbed the can of Pepsi that he had resting between his thighs and took a sip before biting into the apple.

Both men watched the movie in silence for the first few minutes. John enjoyed his popcorn and Yuengling while Punk munched on his apple. John got an idea when the Little Rascals met for their He-man Woman Haters Club meeting. "Hey, we should say the pledge since we're joining." John nudged at Punk's back with his bare foot.

Punk looked back at John with a crooked smile on his face. "I think that's the best idea you've had all night."

When the time came, both men raised their right hands and recited, "I, state your name, member in good standing of the He-man Woman Haters Club, do solemnly swear to be a he-man and hate women and not play with them or talk to them unless I have to. And especially, never fall in love. And if I do, may I die slowly and painfully and suffer for hours or until I scream bloody murder." By the end of the pledge, both men had dissolved into laughter.

"Oh man! I feel a little silly now, but so much better!" Punk said looking back at a smiling John.

"You're not kidding!" John shook his head and took a swig of beer.

Both men began to watch the movie again, well Punk did. John was more interested in watching Punk. He wanted him so damn bad, it hurt. Punk was his perfect match in every way. Even wrestling fans could see the chemistry that they shared whenever they were in the ring together and that chemistry carried over into real life. John didn't know what got into him, but he didn't realize that he was about to tackle Punk off his bed until he was scant inches from doing so.

Both men went flying off the bed and crashed to the floor, Punk's unfinished Pepsi spilling along the way. Before Punk had the chance to say, "John, my diet soda," John's lips crashed onto his in a brutal, demanding kiss.

Now, Punk was a little exasperated that he was being molested for the second time this night, but he honestly didn't mind since it was John. One could say that he was actually enjoying it.

John, who had been lying awkwardly on top of Punk, moved so that he was straddling his hips. He somehow managed to keep his lips firmly on Punk's during the maneuver. John grabbed the sides of Punk's head with both hands in a demanding grip.

Punk suddenly groaned into the kiss when John's hardness was ground into his hip. Taking this as an invitation to go further, John abruptly broke the kiss, placed both hands on Punk's collar and ripped his t-shirt down the middle. He took a moment to admire the skin that had just been revealed to him before he attacked Punk's hard nipples.

As soon as John's hot mouth made contact with Punk's chest, Punk arched his back at the intense pleasure. He honestly didn't know what was happening to him. One second he was watching The Little Rascals, and the next, he is tackled to the ground by a horny John Cena. His mind was just too discombobulated to make sense of all this new information. It also didn't help that the blood supply to his brain had been rerouted to somewhere further south.

Punk was brought back from his musings when John bit down on his neck just below his ear. He couldn't help but moan at the feeling, but had to protest. "Don't leave any marks. They would be kinda hard to explain."

John looked up at Punk with eyes that were clouded with lust. "I'll leave as many marks as I want, but if you're that worried about it, I can leave them in places they won't see." He smirked at Punk and then started sliding down his body.

After sliding down far enough so that he was at eye level with Punk's groin, John started gently nipping at Punk's hardness through his shorts. He was rewarded with a moan from Punk above him, who also bucked his hips at the feeling.

John roughly slid Punk's athletic shorts down his legs. They were a little difficult to get off because they were soaked with Punk's spilled Pepsi. John smiled crookedly when he was met with Punk's bare skin. He had forgotten that Punk probably hadn't been wearing any underwear, which was a good thing because they would have never made it to Wal-Mart.

Taking a firm hold on Punk's hips, John leaned down and started his oral exploration of Punk's amazing body. He stopped briefly on one of Punk's hips bones to suck the skin there into a wonderful purple color before descending further.

Punk was hardly given a warning before John's hot mouth descended on his straining cock. With John's firm hold on his hips, Punk wasn't able to buck his hips like his body was urging him to do. Instead he buried his hands in John soft, short hair, and threw his head back and moaned loudly. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so amazing.

John's mouth was warm and wet around his cock. He loved the feeling of hitting the back of John's throat and feeling it contract around him in a swallowing reflex. The soft suction kept him on the edge of his orgasm, but didn't let him tumble over like he so desperately wanted. "God damn it, John! I wanna come so fucking bad! Please" Punk's knuckles where white from him holding onto John's head so tightly.

John released Punk from his mouth with an audible pop. He almost laughed at the disappointed mewl he received from Punk. "I have to be inside you if you want to come." John waited for Punk's answer.

He didn't have to wait very long. "Fuck me! Please!" Punk was so frustrated at this point and in so much pain.

John smirked again at Punk and then latched onto his lips in a soul searing kiss. Their tongues battled for dominance while John took both Punk's wrists and placed them over his head. Breaking the kiss, John moved back down Punk's lithe body.

He placed both of Punk's knees over his shoulders before he placed two of his fingers in his mouth to wet them. When they were wet enough he used one to touch Punk's entrance, which twitched at the sensation. John carefully pushed his finger into Punk and then a second. He started to scissor his fingers inside of Punk to loosen him a little.

After a few minutes of this, John removed his fingers and thrust his tongue into Punk's tight entrance. "Fuck, John. Please!"

John removed his tongue from Punk and replaced it with two of his fingers. Angling them slightly, John thrust them into Punk's willing body forcefully, making Punk howl in pleasure. He had found his prostrate.

"What do you want, Punk? What do you want me to do to you?" John said seductively into Punk's ear. He could hardly comprehend what John was saying when his fingers were inside him, making him feel such incredible pleasure. He finally understood what John asked him after a few minutes even through his hazy, pleasure –filled mind.

"Fuck me, John! Please! I want it so fucking bad!" Punk all but moaned out. He was biting his lip ring to keep from crying out from all the sensations.

Accepting his request, John flipped Punk over so he was on his stomach and then lifted his hips into the air. Placing himself at Punk's waiting entrance, John said, "I'm going to make you come so many times tonight, you will come dry." Then he forced himself into Punk's tight entrance.

Punk bit down hard on his lip ring to stifle the cry that threatened to escape him. John was bigger than he thought he would be and he was a little unprepared. John didn't give him any time to adjust, so he struggled to relax to accommodate him.

As if sensing his problem, John reached around and grasped Punk's hardness in his hand and started to pump him in time with his quick, brutal thrusts. This helped Punk find his pleasure immediately.

John angled his thrusts so that he hit Punk's prostate every time. The small bedroom was filled with the sound of wet skin slapping against wet skin. John lowered his upper body so that he could nibble on Punk's ear. Punk was too far gone to notice.

He could feel the tendrils of pleasure rolling up his spine and in his lower abdomen, signaling his climax was quickly approaching. He was embarrassed that he was reaching his peak so quickly. He knew that John wasn't close to coming yet, so he tried to force the feeling away.

John was still pumping his cock, so Punk reached down to try and pry John's rough hand away. Even before he touched John, his hand was forcefully slapped away. Punk tried again but was met with the same outcome. "I'm going to come if you don't stop that." Punk could hardly get the words out of this mouth. Between the awesome pleasure and the force John's body was colliding with his own, it was quite difficult to speck.

John laid his sweaty chest against Punk's back. His hot pants tickled Punk's ear. "I want you to come for me. Do it!"

Between the words, John's sexy voice and the sensation against his ear, Punk couldn't hold back anymore and exploded. His vision turned white for a few moments with the force of his intense orgasm. The floor beneath them and John's hand was covered with his come.

Through the whole episode, John never stopped thrusting into his body or pumping his engorged cock. Just when he was coming down from his climax, John stopped and ground himself into Punk, forcing him to start building pleasure again.

Punk's thighs were shaking from the force of the orgasm he had just been through and the pleasure that was building him toward another. John grabbed Punk around the tops of both his trembling thighs and began pulling Punk's body back into his demanding thrusts. "Fuck, you felt so amazing convulsing around my cock. Mmm, do it again, Punk!" John growled into Punk's ear.

Punk was so close, but he wasn't quite there yet. John frowned when he didn't come like he had asked him to. He moved his head from being angled to rest near Punk's ear, to resting on the back of his neck. John gently bit down on the back of his neck and interrupted his thrusts to grind himself into Punk's willing body.

Punk was forced into another orgasm when John roughly ground himself into his already sensitive prostrate. His body tightened around John's cock and convulsed around it. "Yea, that's what I wanted! Fuck you feel so good!"

More of Punk's come hit the floor beneath him but he hardly noticed. He was in a hormone induced high and John was taking him even higher still. Punk's legs couldn't hold anymore and they collapsed under him.

John, who still had a hold of Punk's thighs, kept him from falling to the floor. John withdrew from Punk, making the dazed man mewl at the feel. Hauling Punk onto the bed, Punk turned him so that he was on his back and then climbed between Punk's twitching legs. He placed Punk's legs around his waist before plunging back into Punk. John could feel that he was getting close, but he wanted to make Punk came one more time before he did.

Placing his hand around Punk's hard cock, he started to rub him in time with his harsh thrusts. John stared into Punk's glassy eyes willing him to come again. He looked down Punk's body and saw how contracted his abdominal muscles were from pleasure. He couldn't be far now.

Punk watched as John's thick cock kept appearing and then disappearing into his body. Each stroke caused him so much pleasure, he felt like he was going to die. John left out a low groan from above him and he knew that he was getting close.

"Fuck, I'm going to come. Come with me!" John released Punk's cock from his grasp and took hold of both of Punk's hips to raise them into his thrusting lower body. John forcefully hit against Punk's prostrate again, sending him into his third orgasm.

Fascinated, John watched as Punk's muscles tightened further and felt his inner muscles tighten around him again. This sent him into his own orgasm. He threw back his head and moaned loudly as he came inside of Punk in a hot rush of heat. When John came back down, he noticed that Punk's stomach did not hold any traces of his orgasm. He had literally made him come dry. Punk had nothing left to give.

John pulled out of Punk and laid down beside the gasping man. "That was amazing, Punk." John said as he pulled Punk into his body. He left his arm around Punk's stomach.

Making a sound at the back of his throat, Punk found his voice. "What the hell did you just do to me? I've never come so many times at once in my entire life." Punk's voice was sleepy yet a little annoyed.

John playfully bit the back of Punk's shoulder. "I made you feel good. That's what I did."

Punk was too tired to argue, so he agreed and both men went to sleep with The Little Rascals DVD menu playing in the background.

*Two Weeks Later*

"I need more mouthwash, you morons! No, just go get me bleach! And bring a toothbrush while you're at it. Hurry up! She mouth raped me!" Kane yelled irritably at anyone who could hear him, which was the majority of the roster and the road crew. He currently had his head, mask and all, stuck under a facet with his mouth wide open trying to rinse it out.

Punk honestly couldn't blame him. He had never been mouth raped by AJ, but he could imagine what Kane was going through. Punk had just gotten back from the ring when he was met with this picture.

Feeling a presence at his side, Punk turned and saw John standing beside him, who trying his hardest not to break out laughing. Punk decided to ask a serious question.

"Should we invite him to join the WWE chapter of the He-man Woman Haters Club or just let him suffer alone?" Punk looked at John.

John blanched for a moment and then recovered. "Let him deal with this on his own. Our club is exclusive." The look that John gave Punk while he was saying the sentence promised that he would show him just how exclusive the club was when they got back to his bus.

***HeartDeNijs***

**I've been working on this fic for over a week! I just didn't have the time to finish it, but here it is! So, this sort of came out from my utter distress at Punk's hetero behavior. If the events that occurred on Raw this Monday hadn't occurred, I'm pretty sure I would have ripped out that ho ho's extensions and I'm not talking about the Little Debbie snack cakes!**

**Hope you enjoyed this one-shot. Pleasure review and tell me what you think. I love hearing from all of you!**


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